A little over 5 years ago, after my father's death, I came to live with my mother. She has Alzheimer's. I am beginning this blog because I realize how important it is to have dialog with others in a similar situation.

First, a little background on me: I've been a teacher, mostly second grade, since 1973. During that time and now I've also been a youth home parent for six 16 year old delinquent boys and a nanny for 3 teenage girls. I have one daughter and two granddaughters. I bought my first home late in life, age 53.

When my dad passed away I decided to give up my home, enabling my mom to stay in her own home, a familiar place for her. It was a difficult decision, but the right one. I still kept my job teaching for another year. I had someone checking on her through the lunch time. That didn't work out as I had hoped so I retired early from teaching.

I'm finding the hardest part of all this, so far, is the changing roles of mother and daughter. I have a difficult time "telling" her what to do, finding where that line is so I can give her as much control as possible but, at the same time, keeping her safe.

The down side at this point is getting her to take showers. The up side is that I bought a Wii and Mom and I bowl for an hour each day. At first I had to tell her what to do each and every time she was up. This went on for about two weeks. Now I just remind her when we start each day and she's got it. She doesn't remember right after we're done, but we are enjoying that time together while we're bowling.

One thing I started for Mom was a photo album of everything we do. I thought it would help her to remember, or at least know, that we've done things. But she doesn't really remember when I give it to her to look at. The photo album is good for me, however, because it reminds me of the good times we are having.

My daughter sent an article to me about playing music from my mom's day. I bought a Frank Sinatra CD and she enjoys listening to that. We are also singing (she hums) to Christmas music.
I'm finding the best times with her are when I go to where she is instead of trying to keep her in the present time. I'm even in the process of changing the photos in her room from the present ones to when she was a child. What joy that seems to bring her right now!