Humor Once Again

I was writing out my grocery list for Christmas brunch, when Mom saw it.

Mom: "That's a lot of food. How many are we having?"
Me: "We're having ten. Won't that be fun?"
Mom: "I don't know. Are you doing everything?"
Me: "Yes."
Mom: "Then it will be fun!"
She's so funny.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Skin Cancer---Again

Today Mom had another skin cancer removed== this time it was from beside her left eye.
She seems to be doing fine and, of course, doesn't remember why the gauge is on her face.

Another New Thing

Today Mom didn't get dressed until 10:00. She has never waited any where near that late before. She still hasn't made her bed, which she still did every day until today.
She wouldn't hear of using fitted sheets (they didn't have them in her day), so her bed is still unmade until we make a run to the store this afternoon to get new sheets. If I'm going to make her bed it will be with fitted sheets.

Breakfast slip up again

Yesterday my mother forgot to eat breakfast. I reminder her a couple of times, but she never did get it. This morning she seemed lost about breakfast so I said, "You usually have an English muffin and a bowl of Corn Flakes." She answered, "Well, I know I use to, but I didn't know if I still did or not." I may have to take that over as well. She's done it for a long time so I am happy about that.

Invitation to Stay

Tonight, when it was time for bed, I got up to go upstairs and Mom said it was nice that I came out to visit and to come again. Then she said, you could stay you know. I just accepted her offer.

2 breakfasts

Mom fixed herself 2 breakfasts both before 9:00am. Guess I shouldn't take her dishes away quite so soon after she eats.

Brownie Bakery

I had read about a brownie bakery opening up in Kents Hill so yesterday Mom and I went to check it out. They had the most unusual brownies there. I picked out five different ones, since Mom couldn't decide on any one. When we got home we split the needhams brownie. It was delicious.
It rained off and on during our trip, a couple of times I could hardly see the road. Neither of us could remember ever seeing the rain so bad. Of course with Mom's memory, she wouldn't remember anyway! We had a nice trip. Mom commented on the hills and what good sliding they would be and, as usual, saw animal shapes in clouds and once in a pile of dirt we passed.

Shower

Mom went in to have a shower and shampoo yesterday. I just asked her if she was OK when the phone rang. I hadn't been on the phone for 2 minutes when I didn't hear the water any more. I excused myself and went to check. She was wiping off. I said something about I didn't think she's been in long enough to soap up and she said she probably hadn't. She hair was completely dry as well.
I guess the time has come when I'm going to have to walk her through the steps. I'm going to wash her hair today. I'll just have to do it as fast as possible because it bothers her back, bending over the sink.
Anyone with suggestions would be very welcome to share them.

Confusion

I don't know if it's because some things have changed (I added a bed to the computer room for when my sister comes) or not, but since last night Mom has been more confused than usual. Last night, when it was time to go to bed, she didn't know where she was to go to bed. She asked if she was going up stairs with me. Then this morning, when it was time to have a shower, she couldn't find the towels or the wash clothes. Those things haven't changed. I think it might be just that some things have changed. That's always hard for her and getting harder.

Such a Good Sport

Mom is such a good sport. We're waiting for her ride to her Thursday coffee date when she says "I don't seem to know where I'm going or what I'm doing." Good thing she says it calmly, for my sake. I just told her where and what and then her ride pulled in and off she went. I can't imagine what that must be like for her!

Something No One Wants to Talk About

This morning, when I came down stairs, there was urine all over the bathroom floor. These are things we don't usually talk about, but I feel I'm here to, not only help myself, but to also help others in the same situations. After I cleaned that all up, I found the toilet was plugged as well.

I had just said to one of my granddaughters that we've been lucky that she's sort of stayed in this same stage for so long. The very next day----was today. Hope this is a one time thing for awhile. Not sure how I'll be if it happens a lot.

Got to hold on to the fact that she was there for me when I was not toilet trained.

She Keeps Ahead of Me

While my granddaughter was changing into her bathing suit, in my mom's room, she saw 2 pills on her sewing machine. She called me in and they were actually MY night pills. Don't know how, when, or why Mom got them, but she did. Now I not only lock her pills up but I also lock mine as well.

Another Fall

Today Mom had her third fall in a relatively short period of time. We've been lucky so far with no damage. Today's fall happened when she was rushing out to tell me I had a phone call. I was putting the car in the garage for the night. I think she thought I was leaving and she was rushing to catch me before I left. Anyway, she fell down the two back steps and landed on her seat.
I'll see if she has any "hurts" tomorrow. Right now she has forgotten the fall but says she knows she did something because of a "few places here and there".

Breakfast Again

I came in from gardening and found Mom eating her second breakfast. I leave a note now when I'm outside working. I think I'll leave another note saying she's had breakfast already and leave her one snack for mid morning.

They Don't Understand

When Mom and I first got to her Rebekah meeting, several women came over to greet Mom. They each started out with "Do you remember me?" She would say something like "Your face is familiar, but I don't remember your name". Then they would tell her their names and give her a lot of facts to help her remember. She would smile and laugh and it looked "normal". Mom's so good at that!
They don't understand that she can't remember. The memories aren't there to retrieve. I found myself getting very teared up. I was worried that it would upset my mother and I was sad because these people were part of her life for the last 69 years.
At the end, a weekly coffee buddy said she'd see her Thursday. Mom asked me what was happening Thursday. I told her that was coffee day. Her reply was "I don't still go to coffee do I?"
Unless you live with someone with "Alzheimer's, I don't think most people understand.
You have to go where they are; you can't keep them in present time.

Frustration

I went upstairs to finish watching a movie while Mom watched the news. When I came down an hour later, she was very upset. When I inquired about it, she said she was very mad at herself for not going to the celebration.
I told her we did go. I showed her the flowers she got and the new pin she got.
She had found the letter and couldn't remember going. I've got to throw away that letter as soon as I can.

Mom Introduced Me

Today Mom and I went to a Rebekah meeting which honored all who had been there for over 60 years. Mom was the longest at 69 years. They asked each to introduce their family members in attendance. I held m y breath as they asked Mom.
She said, "This is my daughter, Pamela. She's a teacher and I'm very proud of her." I couldn't believe it! Not only did she know who I was, but she gave me a compliment that I'd never heard from her before. Wow, what a day!

Leaky Sink

This noon my mother said she'd do the dishes while I went upstairs. When I came down she had forgotten so I started them. When I went to get the dish detergent out from under the sink, I saw that the water was leaking. The sinks have separate pipes so I switched the way I do the dishes. Mom came out to help me by drying them. She couldn't figure out where anything went after it was dry and she called me "Mom".
So much for switching things around. I sure hope the repair man can come tomorrow!!!!! It could be a LONG time before they get fixed----if you know what I mean!

Visit to Hospital

Today my mother fell down two steps and landed on her head and backside. We took her to the hospital and had a cat scan. The cat scan was OK.
We were there for 3 hours. When we left I said, "I don't want to do that again."
Mom replied, "Not any time soon anyway!"
Still funny!

Choosing Clothes

Yesterday was not sunny, but it was plenty warm. My mother wore a winter sweater. I tried to get her to change but she wouldn't. This morning a threw that sweater down the laundry chute.

To my surprise, she came out dressed in yet another winter sweater this morning.

I guess I should lay out her clothes the night before.

Humor Again

This morning, when I went to start the car, it was completely DEAD!
I told Mom I had roadside assistance with my insurance, but didn't think they'd come to the house. She said, "Want me to help you push it out into the road?"

She's so funny!

Mom, the Joker

I didn't sleep all that great last night so today, while watching TV around 4, I said I'd really be ready for bed tonight. Mom responded, "Let's wait until at least after supper."

God Bless Her

I'm leaving for the afternoon so I put on the "old shows" that Mom really enjoys. I Love Lucy is on. Part way through she said, "Isn't it amazing how they can think of new ones after all these years."

Lost at Breakfast

Mom's been getting her own breakfasts. She always has the same thing every morning (she always did this even before Alzheimer's). This morning I saw her hunting for something, when I asked her what she was looking for, she answered--"There's nothing opened." I thought her cereal was empty so I got the new box down. She said she thought there was one open somewhere. I looked where her cereal always is and there was still a little left. She had forgotten where her cereal is located.

Yesterday we went to a funeral, a cousin of my father's. She didn't know anyone, even one woman who goes to coffee with her every Thursday. Mom handled it well. She smiled and answered questions. I can't help wondering what it's like for her to go off to coffee each Thursday not knowing who she's going with and maybe even where she's going. She seems OK with it, but she seemed OK yesterday also.

It's like a small child---you wonder what they are really thinking.

Trip to Greenhouse

Mom and I went on a trip to a greenhouse today. It was great; cold but great. On the way home with our many plants, Mom was telling a story about when she was young and she said " It scared the hell out of me, but it was fun." If you knew my mother you would know just how "out of character" that is for her. I've only heard her swear one other time in my whole life. I wanted to laugh, but I just listened.

Here We Go

While at Mom's dentist appointment today I found out that I now have to help her brush her teeth. That should be interesting! I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but don't have much choice.

Finally I Make Good Coffee--Sort Of!

It's been a LONG standing joke in my family--Pam doesn't make the coffee! Well, I saw that Mom's coffee looked like left over dish water (well, you could see through it) so now I make the coffee. I might question even that except for the fact that my sister showed me how before she left AND (the real test) my ex-brother-in-law came for a visit and asked for a second cup. I was shocked when he even asked for the first---with a lot of jokes of course. I think it's kind of fool proof--these new pots.

Party Time

When my granddaughter called the house this morning, my mom told her that we had gone to a party and that we were gone until the wee hours of the morning. When she asked what party we went to she said it was some kid's party in town.
I hope we had fun!

I'm Going Away

This weekend is my daughter's birthday so I am going to visit her. My granddaughters will be taking care of Mom and one will spend the night. Hope all goes well. I'm sure it will. Don't really know how Mom will be, but they can handle it, I'm sure.
My daughter and I are both very excited about this visit. I've only seen her once in the past 3 years.

Lunch or No Lunch, That is the Question

I went to a play where I use to teach. Before I left I made lunch for my mother and left it in the fridge covered with clear wrap. I've done this several times with no problem. When I got back today her lunch was right where I left it. I asked her about it and she said she ate something, but couldn't remember what. As long as she's not hungry I guess it's all right.
I left my grandson-in-law here. He was outside painting a fence for me. I was a little worried about her forgetting and being worried about a man here, but that seemed to go OK. She thought he just got here (when I called in to check).
One never knows!

Something Mom Loves

I stopped at a local store and got a peanut butter cappuccino for Mom. She drank it all (she never does that with regular coffee) before we got to our destination. A couple days later, we were out for a ride and I stopped and got her another one---same thing. Yesterday I got her a third one on our way to shop an hour's drive away. Not only did she finish it, but she picked it up several times after it was done to drink some more and she remembered for that time spell that she liked it.
This is the first time I've seen her really enjoy something that much. So glad it's located in our town. I hope it's not a short term item.

Remembrence

Today Mom and I were introduced to a friend of my granddaughters. She had a baby son with her. Mom said, "Oh, you have a boy. I had 3 girls." Kelsey and I looked at each other and thought how great is that....she remembers today that she had 3 girls.

Beleive it or not!

After enduring Mom's asking every 2 minutes about her appointment today, I just said it's time we left and she said, "We're going somewhere?" Go figure!!!

Praying for Bedtime

The doctor's office called while I was out Friday and confirmed an appointment for Mom for tomorrow. (I haven't been telling her ahead of time.) I stopped counting this morning at 17--the number of times she's asked me the date and if she has an appointment tomorrow. It's been pretty steady all day. The only relief I've had was when we were outside in the sun.
Now I can hardly wait to go upstairs so I won't have to answer that question one more time.

Great Day

Today is beautiful, warm and sunny. Mom and I took two walks out back through the paths in the woods. We checked out the what flowers were poking their heads out. In the woods we found trillium coming along, in the gardens there are daffodils and crocus. The tulips have started as well. We sat out on the deck and watched people launching their boats. What a nice day we've had.

Living Alone

I was upstairs working on scrapbooking when I heard the phone ring. I listened and Mom seemed to be talking OK so I waited.
Mom finally opened the door and said I had a phone call. It was my younger granddaughter. She said Mom had no idea anyone else lived here. She had asked to speak to Gram and Mom said she was gram. When Kasey said, the other gram, she said no one else lived here. Kasey said to check upstairs.

Where is Mom now?

Saturday evening, when I said I'd go start supper, Mom asked, "Is it just the two of us tonight for supper?" I answered, "Yep, it's just us." Her reply, "Well, for Heaven's sake!"
I wanted to ask who she thought should be here, but I'm always leery of that approach. I don't want to agitate her in any way, but I was very curious to know if she was thinking, my father and sisters or her parents and brother??????

Sense of Humor Shows Again

A neighbor brought over some homemade peanut butter fudge today for my birthday. I just explained that to Mom and offered her a piece. After taking a taste she said, "I'm awfully glad she remembered it was your birthday!"
Thank you Sue, the fudge is terrific (and I'm going to hide the container).

Not Only

Not only did Mom eat all those cookies yesterday, but she also ate a Cadbury Egg--I thought I had hidden. Cadbury Eggs are Mom's favorite so I bought some for her and put them on the enclosed stairway to my bedroom. I had been doling them out one a day. Well, I went to get the last day to give to her and it was gone--just the empty box. Boy, she may not remember anything, but she sure looks around for sweets!
I have a locked box for her pills. I guess I'll have to get another one for sweets.

A Cookie Monster (title came from a friend)

This morning I went shopping with one of my granddaughters. We brought pizza home for lunch. After coming in I noticed that the package of Girl Scout Cookies, which I mistakenly left on the table, was gone. She ate the whole package (except the 4 Mom and I had last night). The empty package was NOT in the rubbish. It's funny how she will think to hide the evidence! She didn't seem to be too hungry for lunch.
Hope she doesn't get sick! !!!

Beautiful Days

Yesterday and the day before have been the most beautiful spring days I can ever remember----AND it's not spring for 3 more days. Mom and I sat outside for an hour each day after lunch and got some much needed sun. Boy did that feel great! On March 11, 2010 I took pictures of the crocus that were up. A great sign of spring.

Dentist

Mom went to the dentist yesterday and had a tooth pulled. She did really great at the office. By the time I turned the corner, she didn't know why she had the gauze in her mouth. Today I'll have to get her to rinse her mouth a lot and, again, she won't remember why. Sometimes I'd like to totally forget the dentist myself!

Date Frustration

Today, for some unknown reason, we didn't receive a newspaper. I can't count how many times Mom has asked what the date is. I know she checks the paper often, I just didn't realize how often.
I think I'll go buy one at the store.

My apology to commentor

Someone asked a question while I was on vacation. I thought I published it so I could read it all, but now I can't find it. PLEASE try again as I'm very interested in connecting with others in this same situation. (I'm new at blogging.)

To answer the part of your comment I did see, my Mom is 88. She'll be 89 in August.

Now for some background that might help: She started this when she was 62 so we've been very lucky to have it go as slowly as it has. She had a doctor who was really into preventive methods of health and I'm convinced that made a difference.

Vacation

I had a very relaxing time on my vacation. It was great having my sister there so I didn't have to worry about anything. I drank fresh orange juice every day, read 2 1/2 books and just visited. I got a sunburn (which turned tan almost the next day).
My sister didn't have any problems really, but saw that the role reversal part is really difficult.
Mom didn't even know I was gone. She seemed to interchange my sister and myself with no hesitation. Because of that, I'm not at all sure she really knows who I am. She may just know that I'm Pam who takes care of her.

Total Confusion

I don't know if I can go to Florida. My sister's here, but Mom is so confused. She keeps repeating when I'm leaving, after looking at her calendar. She then asks if she's staying here and how will she get her stuff. She doesn't know she's at home. She is so upset by this!

Sister's Visit

I picked my sister up at the airport yesterday. Kelsey stayed home with Mom. After we arrived home we had a great visit. Around 5:00 Joyce and Mom were talking about skating on the lake and Mom asked, "Did you grow up around here?" It made me so sad. Joyce says she's not taking it personally---which is good. I wonder what will happen when I'm not here and she doesn't know who Joyce is!!!!!!!

bowling???

Right after my mother and I finished bowling, I said, "Isn't it fun bowling?" She answered," It use to be. It's been a long time since I bowled." I have to remember to just live in the moment and then let it go.

A Little Agitation

Saturday I had the wall to wall rug removed from the living room as it was bunched up in a couple places. I saw it as a real trip hazard. Under is a hardwood floor which is in great need of refinishing or being recovered with a new wall-to-wall.
Mom keeps asking what the plan is for the floor. She is agitated by it-- a lot. I can hear it in her voice. Because she forgets right away, she keeps asking about it and I'm not sure what I want to do yet. I will price both options and then decide what's best.
My older sister is coming from California to visit and watch Mom while I spend a few days in Florida. I am in hopes to get that problem solved before she comes, but I'm not at all sure that will happen.
I probably should have waited until I came back to start this whole process.

Sad

Mom just came into the livingroom and said the kitchen clock and the clock on the stove were different. One says 9:55 (a digital clock) and the other say 5 minutes before 10:00. She had no idea that the times were the same. I find this very sad.

Paranoid ???

Tonight, as we were getting ready for bed, Mom saw a car drive into the boat landing across the street. She wondered if they were watching us get ready for bed and wanted to break in.People are always driving in and out of that parking lot. Then I remembered that a friend, who took care of her father, said he got paranoid. I hope this isn't the beginning of that stage!

Doctor's Visit

I got a little teary this morning when my mom's doctor thanked me for being so patient with Mom.

She will be going for a chest x-ray and another blood test because she is getting short of breath while bowling and getting out of the tub.

I now have to weigh her at least twice a week to see if maybe she's retaining fluids. I will do that on the wii before we bowl. That should be interesting, since she sneaks food any time she can!
A little bit like me!!!

Another Laugh

Mom has asked repeatedly if she has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. When I affirm that, she says she better have a shower (that's the shower I had a hard time getting her to take earlier today). Then she asks how she's getting to her appointment. When I told her I was taking her, she said, "Don't you have to go to school?" After I remind her that I'm retired (going on my third year) she said, " Oh, I thought you'd been around a lot lately." I have to chuckle to myself and share with you!

Bath Time-Fight Time

Here we are at another Wednesday and the excuses are rampant....why do I need a shower and shampoo??? I'm not sure why she resists this so much. It might be part of the disease as her doctor asks me about hygiene each time we go to see him.

Heat

I came back from eating breakfast with a friend to find the heat cranked way up to 75 degrees.
I do have a guard for it so it can be programed and then not touched. I guess I'll have to find that and get that programed.

Sense of humor!

We just got back from Mom's blood test. She has to fast before the test so we went out to breakfast after. We went to the Early Bird, in our home town. She always thinks she started that restaurant. I don't correct her. A guy I went to school with came over and talked with us. He said to Mom, "You come here with HER to eat?" Mom came right back with, "As long as she pays!" I love her sense of humor. She never had one when we were growing up.

Bowling Loss

Today was the first day Mom had to be reminded what to do in the middle of the strings and it happened a couple of times. I'm hoping we'll be able to do this for a lot longer. We'll see!

Own Up To It

I returned Mom's calendar to her in the night. I realized two things: 1) She depends on that calendar and 2) It didn't frustrate her, it frustrated me. I'll deal with it. There, I feel better already!

Me in the "third person"

Mom and I went for a ride this afternoon. I mentioned that I couldn't imagine what it will be like when I can't drive any more. Mom said, "You can always drive. I drove Pam's car around town just the other day." I'm Pam and my mother hasn't driven in over 30 years. This kind of surprised me. I think I was a little speechless, but Mom didn't notice.

No Calendars

I tried hiding Mom's calendars this morning. She has a dentist appointment. I got her to have a shower and now I'm waiting to take her for her appointment. [ The car wouldn't start so the garage took the car and we'll take a taxi. That should be a trip!] So far she's not preoccupied with the date. This may work out great. What nice advice!

Boy, am I slow. She found the calendar and it's back by her chair. How am I going to do this when she's smarter than I am????????

It's after lunch and I've really hidden the calendar this time. We'll see goes this goes.

Calendar Confusion

Mom has always (since her illness) been preoccupied by the calendar, but it's gotten worse since the New Year started. It may be that she has more appointments than usual this month. She has hair, doctor, blood tests, and dentist appointments. She must check them at least 5 or 6 times a day. She checks to see if she has them right, to see if I have the same, and who's going to take her. She seems to have forgotten that I am retired. I'll have to make sure never to have this many in one month again.

We no longer bowl 6 strings. She gets winded after 2 strings. We do bowl 4 strings still. I'll check with her doctor to see if I should be pushing her or not. She enjoys bowling so much. I just get worried when I hear her breathing hard.

COMMENTS: I think I've set this site up so you can leave comments easily. We'll see how that works. I'd love to hear from you.

Trash or Laundry

Each Monday I do my mother's wash. We have a laundry shoot down to the basement. While I was putting in her white wash I came across the empty wrapper from the toilet paper rolls. It's a new twist on the old joke about putting the milk in the cupboard and the glass in the fridge. If that's the case, I don't even want to check the rubbish!!